ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
