please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Drake has all the answers
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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