So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
