How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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