so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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