break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize