shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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