If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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