I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
