That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
