5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
