new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
