he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
