I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We just shotgunned beers for America
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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