Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
