At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i think my cat just said my name.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
