she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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