I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
