If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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