Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
