i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
