this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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