If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
