idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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