and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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