tell your sister to shave her snatch
Michael Bay diarrhea
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
