4 words: hood of his car
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I have already put on my inside pants.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
