I bet he comes in French.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
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