she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
