I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
