We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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