I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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