Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
