no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
