You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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