I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
