Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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