And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
