I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
