Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
