Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
