Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
