For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When are your genitals available?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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