Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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