Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Randomize