my vag is so smooth its legendary
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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