Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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