i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
