i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
