I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
