the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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