...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
