Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
