sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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