I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
