I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
