her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
