I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize